is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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