he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
