Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Text me some of your sweat
Randomize
