my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Randomize
