I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Randomize