So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
