I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
