if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize