I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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