Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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