Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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