It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize