I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Randomize
