Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
