Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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