someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
