is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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