WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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