I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
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