Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
