I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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