After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Randomize