I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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