I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Randomize
