Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
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