im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
