I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
