Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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