I wanna passion pit in your ass
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
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