Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
