Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
