The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
