But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
