fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I'm too high and old for this...
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
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