just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
