i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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