never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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