Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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