Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Randomize
