I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
