In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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