Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
