I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
