Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
