My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I'm sobbing to NWA
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
