so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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