Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Randomize