You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
