I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
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