my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Randomize
