so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize