Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
