Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
