Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
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