I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
operation have a gay friend backfired
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize