I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
