Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Randomize
