hotel room ftw
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
