the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
