So drunk its hurt
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
