Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize
