I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
