And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Randomize
