you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Randomize
