There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
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