you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
