she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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