He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize