id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
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