We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
